The demon in my chest

Your ghost keeps good company

in the mouth of late December,

with or without it’s clamping,

snapping teeth.

Icicles freeze to his

umbrella eyelashes.

Chew the pieces of me

Break me down and

Set fire to everything I know.

Every thing that

I was and am today.

A simple blackness

A simple life, tortured.

It thrives and smiles upon

the rotting of you and me,

On the calm it creates craze.

Your ghost keeps good company

lets me know that I will never suffer alone.

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Therapist & Patient: A special kind of relationship

I lost a lot of connections when depression squirmed into my life. I hung onto some people in my life like life lines which eventually pushed them farther away from me. Depression told me to push everyone away, it told me to not open up, to hide everything and plaster a smile on my face. It took a lot of different councillors and therapists before I found a right fit. I used to dread going to therapy. It was like going to school for a second time. But I had to talk about all the stuff I was trying to hide from myself. In the past, I didn’t believe that any professional could really help me at all. I was hopeless and helpless, or so I thought.

I think that having a therapist help you help yourself can be extremely beneficial. If you see someone who doesn’t push you at all and just feels bad for you and all of your problems. You won’t get anywhere. For me, having someone push me to do things I wasn’t really comfortable with was what i needed. It was what all of my previous Therapist’s lacked. You have to be the one to actively want to change, or else you’ll be stuck digging yourself into a deeper, darker hole.  I went from dreading therapy to actually looking forward to going to see my therapist. The key was being validated and feeling cared for.