only seeds were left
her white-washed cheeks
and those protruding bones.
just the little girl
next door in the window
pounding stained glass
with the hurry of heartbeat
now, there are only echoes of words
don’t look through the curtains
stay in the back alley
skipping over puddles,
smoke fills the house
abandoned and broken –
without a pulse.
It’s a better story if i talk about
Finding flowers in open wounds
If i say it’s alright
If i tell you that i’m better now
That i can see the different
shades of morning again
Like i used to
Or if i talk about the spinning head demons
Running circles but there isnt really anything
Poetic about this pain
I cant make this a pretty ending.
the softness of a smile
the ruby gloss on your lips
Show me trust in the words you’ve never
said aloud. Show me:
me and you in solitude
bewildered in night and morning
Today was my very last session with my individual therapist and my last skills group for DBT. It took me 2 years to agree do do this program and now it’s almost been a year that I’ve been in it. DBT is honestly a life changing program and so many people can benefit from it (not only those who struggle with tough emotions and impulsivity). I am really happy that dbt will eventually be in schools for young people! I wouldn’t of been able to do it without my amazing therapist and friends I’ve made in the hospital. I’m so grateful for everyone who has helped me along the way. It’s hard to believe how much I’ve overcome and everything that I’ve been faced with.
Before DBT I was being hospitalized for suicide attempts and self harm medical problems. I was struggling so much that I was completely hopeless. I started self harming at school and was being punished for acting out that way. My anxiety got so bad that I had to drop a lot of courses and had to get an EA to help me out. I was constantly triggered by my family members and my by environment.
I can’t say that now i don’t struggle, because I do. The difference is that I’m able to cope better with difficult situations thanks to some amazing people at HSC and on the DBT team there. I feel a sense of freedom in being done but also sadness and fear as to what is next for me. I will take with me my most treasured experiences and the knowledge that I have gained from this last year of pushing through everything!