To judge or not to judge

“When we are judging everything, we are learning nothing.” 
― Steve MaraboliLife, the Truth, and Being Free

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We are living in a society that lives in a judgemental vortex, or so it seems. If we are not judging others, we are judging ourselves.

Something I learned while in DBT was that judging isn’t helpful or effective – but everybody judges sometimes. It’s about observing when you do it and letting it go as fast as you can. Which isn’t as easy as it sounds. Its very difficult for a lot of people (including me). When I think of it now, judging ourselves and others – it has become so natural and “normal,” that it seems strange not to do.

Practicing the “Non-Judgementally” Skill of DBT 

This skill focuses on observing what may be happening, not evaluating as good or bad. Just accepting this moment as it is right now. Judging is an opinion – a belief that you cannot prove for the most part. When you judge someone or something, you are giving it a label. Evaluating it as good or bad.

  • A NONJUDGMENTAL STANCE:  Judging something as neither good nor bad.  Everything simply is as it is.  Focusing on just the facts.
  • Focus on your language: Frequently used judgmental words include Right, wrong, should, shouldn’t, stupid, lazy, fair, perfect. 
  • Identify your common self judgements, try to let them go. (ex. I am stupid,bad, lazy,ugly,messed up.)
  • Focus on breathing
  • Notice your thoughts. Bring attention to your thoughts and judgements when you are doing simple activities.
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