My depression came crawling into my life with knives for hands and blades for feet. Of course, he didn’t look like this. He looked like your average, good looking, manipulative man with magnetic eyes and a way with words. Slowly, he eased his way in. Before I knew it I was staying in bed all day, missing school, ditching classes, self harming in attempts to escape the hell I was then enduring.
A couple years ago I thought that being strong was holding tears back and pretending that everything was fine, even if it wasn’t. I thought that strength meant lying to my family and friends about how I was doing. This idea made me believe that weakness meant crying and breaking down in my room at night when everyone else was asleep.
I used to put a stop watch on my recovery, now i realize that you can’t set a date for your wellness. For some people, treatment for depression is finding the right medication and seeing a therapist, and eventually they find the skills to cope in a healthy way. For others, It’s a lifelong battle. I’ve come to realize that I will be fighting Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm and BPD for the rest of my life. I’ve also come to realize that All of these things, won’t define me and I refuse to let them.