The inner dialogue
I heard my name. Or was it my name? They looked over at me… that must mean they are talking about me. They looked over at me and then laughed. They hate me, they must hate me. Oh god, what have I done wrong this time? Why is everyone staring at me… I probably look really gross today. Sit in the very back of the classroom. Hide behind the tall kid so that the teacher doesn’t notice you sitting at the very back. Don’t call on me. Don’t call on me. Don’t call on me. Oh god please don’t call on me. Phew, she didn’t. Can I stop shaking now please? Nope. Okay, what was the teachers name again? Alright, just slowly practice saying her name in your head so that it doesn’t sound weird coming out of your mouth. I hope my voice doesn’t crack. Please don’t ask me a question. Please don’t ask me a question. This class has too many people in it. Too many loud talking, gossip sharing, rumour spreading people. Is my face red? I can feel the heat of fire on my cheeks. They are starring. Why is everyone starring. The bell rings for class change. Another classroom, enter another doorway. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Not another class presentation. I can’t get up there. Their eyes are glued to mine. I can feel the vomit making its way up to my mouth. Tears of panic. Tears of fear. Tears of everything streaming down my face.