waking up, afraid.

i have woken up

with your words in my mouth

still screaming stutters

full of your anger

all of those gluten free

sentences that wont

leave me alone in the

middle of the night.

no amount of self induced

vomiting has been able to

loosen their strained grip

around me

the triangular folding

of childhood is still a

waving flag of the

triggers I’ve been pulling myself.

i keep finding myself

in empty parking lots

where i thought my house was

but i was only coming

back to a memory

the one i can only paint

in pictures of the past.

now, i wither with the stubborn words

caught in the handcuffs

the policeman said

it was for my own good

hands behind my back

dog barking in the background

door kicked in

glass on the floor.

i wake in a sweat

confusion of what i ever

did to be treated

like a criminal.

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One thought on “waking up, afraid.”

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