Reading Reflection

Book – A million little pieces
Author – James Frey
Pages read – 283
While reading this book, I found myself asking questions directed to the main character, James’ feelings that he has towards his mother and father. Since he feels a lot of anger towards them for no “one” reason. I can connect to those feelings, too. The professionals that he speaks to have brought up whether or not he was abused by his parents or had experienced some cruel childhood to explain some of that anger but the fact of the matter is that it isn’t that easy of an answer. I am curious as to what it is like on the other side of addiction. What is it like for the mothers, daughters, the fathers, husbands and wives. What is it like to see someone you loved turn into a stranger, into a whole different, destructive person.
I thought that it was interesting how James describes which type of people are in the clinic as a part of the family program, and who was there as a part of their own program. Comparing two different types of people. Speaking of the different people as a means of the ones who are dying and the ones who are alive and well. I think that the Addicts are slowly whitening away and it shows in their posture, in how they are carrying themselves, lack of emotion and how unclean they feel and seem to be compared to the showered, “healthy” people. The tone of this book is more gloomy and serious in some cases. I have found myself relating to James’ current situation he is being forced to deal with and face because I’ve been in the inpatient, hospital setting as well.
I think that James will continue to go through the process of recovery to become sober. Although, I think that he isn’t ready to face all of his legal issues faced with some states and would rather not face the time, more so he would like to run away instead or just end his life all together. I think that James has doubt in the “12 steps” guiding principles because it is based from spiritual beliefs. Although he does believe in some sort of higher power, this is a struggle which he faces as he goes through these “12” steps to becoming sober. My reaction to this wasn’t very surprising, in fact I can understand it more that he didn’t feel like the twelve steps would work for him. I think that is him showing some ambivalence. To having conflicting beliefs about something. I felt this way about going into treatment for Depression/Self-Harm/ Bulimia/ Social Anxiety. To me, it seems normal that he doesn’t believe that it will work for him, just as anyone would.
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